ME

Days are swinging past
and I wish I could finally
say to you the words
hiding under my pillows,
behind doors, and
scattered on the floors
I am walking on
I wish I could say to you
that my knees aren't
the only parts of
my body that
are hurting
that sometimes when
I sit in class I sometimes
stop and stare
and my throat starts to
constrict while my
tear ducts plan
their mutiny
I wish I could tell you
that I still remember
the sound of breaking
glass and I still
imagine the moment
of the glass kissing
the ground and, yes,
I still remember
how the shards
sparkled as I sweeped
the floors
I wish I could find a
better way of saying
these words to you
just like how perfectly
arranged the bones in
my body are
I wish I could say to
you that I fantasize
about telling you these
words that are
years overdue
and, no, I am not
okay, and, no,
you're wrong when
you said that I don't
care because I do
I just don't know
how to show it
and I also know
that maybe I'm
not making sense
because the real words
have morphed
themselves into
metaphors for having
been suppressed
for so long
and maybe I'm not
making any sense at all
but
the
bottomline
of this mess
is that I want
to say that I'm
sorry I wasn't
stronger for
you and me

ANXIETY AND TRAUMA

Anxiety and Trauma both very much alike.
Anxiety bit her nails and Trauma did as well.
Trauma rocked back and forth, and Anxiety did too.
Over time they both dropped subtle hints saying they were not okay.
Anxiety went to therapy, and so did Trauma.
Trauma had a breakdown, Anxiety also did.
The difference lays within their fears.

My chest aches
As tears threaten the corners of
My eyes
They're dry
Like the wind
I felt
Alone and abandoned
Unloved and unworthy

FLOWERS

Like a flower in the desert 
I had to grow
In the cruelest weather
Holding on to every drop of rain, just to stay Alive.

But it's not enough to survive
I want to bloom
beneath the blazing sun
and show you all the colours
that live inside me
i want you to see
what i can become

Second Chances

      We all deserve second chances, but not for the same mistake.

I believe in second chances, but I don't believe in third or fourth chances.

Sometimes giving someone a second chance, Is like giving them an      extra bullet for their gun.. cause they missed you the first time.

I’m right here. Can’t you feel me? Can’t you hear me? I’m that thumping sound in your chest that tells you to stay alive. I am always there, with you. If you miss me, remember that I am right there listening to you. 

Remember that I am in every word you utter and every breath you take. Don’t worry, sweetie. Our long distance relationship will only be stronger and stronger because our two souls and our two hearts are one. Our love is powerful and there’s no distance in the world that will change it. 

If you want to hug me and kiss me, I will be there by your side in a few days. We can do this! I miss you, too much. It feels like seconds are hours and hours are years. Sometimes I even cry knowing that you are miles away from me, but just remember that you are everything that I need in my life, and all the joy and happiness I need fits right into your smile. So don’t be sad. We’ll be together soon. 

We’ll continue laughing our asses off together and talking till the early hours until our bodies get tired and we finally fall asleep. We will meet again sooner than you think and hours will start feeling like seconds. I miss you and I love you. 

HIM

Have you ever found someone really mean to you? Someone who mean the world to you? I have found mine, sweet, handsome, gentleman and loving person . Though every season, so many ways he let me know, that there are many reasons that he makes me glow. I love how he tried to persuade me. I love you he tried to steal my heart. He knows me very well. He is someone that i will never forget. We have been through so many ups and downs together. I love he tryna be patient with me. His voice that able to give me the peace and calm that i need. His eyes with his look that make me feel accompanied and let me know that im not alone that i have him. I dont know but he is the best person that ive ever met. We have the same interest, we both have the same birthday numbers and many more. I miss how the first time we talk haha its really cute that he replied all of my story just to get my attention . He never stop praising me . I also wont forget the first time we both met at Paradigm Petaling Jaya. Thats what makes me love him even more. He's a man who would try any ways to win my heart. You im such a hard person to fall in love btw? But he knows how to win my heart. Almost every month he come to see me . Terlalu banyak kenangan yang kitaorang cipta sebab we're in a long distance relationship so waktu singkat yang ada tu lah kitaorang gunakan sehabis baik . 6 hours is not a short time . I really love the flowers you gave . Trust me im the happiest girl in the wolrd with having you by my side. Thankyou for making my birthday be wonderful and the best birthday ever . I decided to understand how you feel so i make it as my turn to go to your place and yeah it's a long journey . But it was fun, bila you penat tapi by having someone you love and dapat luangkan masa sama sama boleh hilang segala penat tu . It's almost 2 years of being together and we both have been through so many things that we never expected . It's hard to be in a long distance relationship. I swear. You cant see him when u miss him, u miss his hugs his presence infront of you, his touch and all . I swear and it's not easy . But you know, Im a girl and im such a hard person to handle . Maybe ive been too much that make him distant him self from me. Maybe im the girl who never knows how to appreciate someone that would do anything even hurt himself just to make sure im okay. And maybe i dont know how to show my love . He's changed . Im suffocating

You

When I first met you,
I felt like I had known you forever,
telling you my secrets
and what I didn’t want ever.
You listened to me.
I bet you thought I’d never end.
Who would have thought
we would become more than just friends?
Over a period of time
I got to know the real you.
A boy, so caring and gentle,
with a heart so true.
You’ve survived your life
with hurt and loneliness by your side.
I told you I’d never leave
because of the feelings I have inside.
I know you
like no one I have ever known,
and sometimes I wonder
what I’d do if you were gone?
So I have decided
time answers all.
If it is meant to be,
time will remove the wall.
I love the way we are together.
You can always make me smile.
Will it ever really be forever?
I guess I will have to wait a while.
Time will reveal what lies ahead,
but always remember
what I have said.
Meeting you has changed my life,
and I really love you so.
The feelings I feel for you,
I am never letting go.
Remember me always
and I will, too.
I always think of
me and you.